Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
