I think i sorta joined a cult last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize