You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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