Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
