just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
