we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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