I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
