I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
