i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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