I bet he comes in French.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
