I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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