we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
