I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
