oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
