38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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