remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
