wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
