Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just crazy horny about you
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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