She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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