Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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