Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she was so not down for the gang bang
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
