Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
