Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you never un-have a 4some
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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