Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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