Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
