Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
