I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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