I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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