ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
