They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
