Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
