i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you still have your period?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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