Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
