if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize