Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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