Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
