so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
