She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
