I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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