I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
