There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
