Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
