sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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