jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
