What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
