Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
