You work out of a Hotel?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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