She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
