She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
