note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
