Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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