is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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