Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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