I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
