she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
