Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize