Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
