i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
