No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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