And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize